Imposter
by Crazy4abby
Summary: Percy Weasley is not a failure. He couldn't possibly be one. He wasn't unruly or disorganized. He obeyed his parents and always listened to what they said, so why were they never proud of him? He put his all into being apart of the family but never once did he feel apart of it. Or All the ways that Percy Weasley tries to cope with the feelings of imposter syndrome.


Percy Weasley is an intelligent young man. He never argued or talked back to his parents. He agreed that the best job that led to being successful was a job in the ministry. He kept his grades up and never once got detention. He keeps a level head and always tries to determine the rights and wrongs of both sides of the argument before agreeing with one. He is quiet and observant.

Percy Weasley doesn't feel much like a Weasley. Weasleys are loud and brave. He is quiet and anxious. He wants to impress his parents. Weasleys are funny and never fail to be entertaining. He is boring and bores someone to sleep in minutes or drives them away. He doesn't understand why people are so hard to deal with.

Percy became prefect his fifth year. Bill, his older brother, was also prefect when he went to school, as well as Charlie. He carried the badge with honor, but on the other hand, he couldn't help but believe he didn't deserve it. He thinks that Oliver would have made a better prefect, even with his slight quidditch obsession. He wishes that Charlie still went to school. He graduated the year before.

Harry has taken to his siblings like a fish to water. He fits in better then Percy. Percy knows this. He feels like he has officially been booted from the family and Harry has taken his place. He watches his siblings interact and laugh with each other and wishes he had someone to laugh with.

His brothers chant, "Perfect Prefect Percy". It hurts him more then he realizes. Every time he messes up it rings in his head. They chant it in his sixth year too.

Percy is prefect his sixth year too. He grins at it proudly and shows his mother,

"Oh that's great darling. We will have a nice dinner tonight, that sound good? I'll make your favorite." His mother says. That night, the twins put one of their homemade firecrackers in his food. It blows up in his face and he has never felt more ashamed. His parents don't do anything to stop them. His siblings laugh at his misfortune. He went upstairs to clean up and cried himself to sleep.

That year the chamber of secrets opens up. It takes Ginny and he has never felt more incompetent. Oliver has to give him a pep talk to get out of bed. He knows it's his fault and he knows they do too, even if they don't say it. If only he had paid more attention to her, maybe she wouldn't have almost died. He doesn't deserve his prefect badge. He knows that.

The summer before seventh year they visit Bill in Egypt. He is a curse breaker that works with Gringotts. They had recently finished taking the curses of a pyramid down and started exploring it. One night when Percy was taking a late night walk, the twins kicked him in it and locked the pyramid. He was there for almost a day before they could open the pyramid back up and take him to safety. He almost died of a broken heart- not that they noticed. Bill had been furious at the twins and had tried to get his parents to punish them, but their parents dismissed them saying they were just being boys. That was the last time Percy had really trusted his parents.

In Percy's seventh year, he is head boy. The twins charm his badge to say, "BigHead Boy". He cries when he is sure he is alone after he notices it. They really thought that of him. He didn't think he deserved the family sweater he got that year, but he was glad that he even got one.

That year he graduates with his NEWTS and his good grades. He gets a good job in the ministry as an assistant. His first year out of Hogwarts, the Triwizard Tournament is reintroduced. His employer is sick and he replaces him on the planning while he gets better. The second task scares him a bit, because while he may not show it that much, Percy cares very much about each of his siblings. When Harry pulls Ron out of the lake, Percy runs up to him worried, but is pushed rudely back by Ron who doesn't even like him. Percy was in a bit of a depressed mood the rest of the day.

When Harry returns with a limp body, Percy is pale with worry, paler then he usually is he that is. He claims Voldemort is back but Percy is confused and scared. He remembers the last war. He doesn't want that again. He doesn't want to go back to skipping safe houses. Not again, so he denies it.

Percy is a practical and intelligent man. He doesn't believe in things that are told to him until he sees it. He does not believe in things that have no firm supporting evidence. Percy believes in gravity because it has been proven again and again. He keeps up with muggle science- it interests him and he finds it fascinating. One thing that has been proven is you can't bring the dead back to life. It's impossible. (Briefly Percy considers the fact that he never died at all but dismisses it on the proof of the faded death marks.)

Percy got a promotion. He is proud of it and he has never been closer to the job his parents had wanted him to have. There is that little sliver of doubt in the back of his mind that it wasn't by his merit, but he ignores it because he did it! He walks into the house and tells his parents. They would be so happy- except they weren't. They just confirmed the fact that his achievements weren't his and were meaningless. Percy's father kept going on about how they just wanted him to spill on facts about his family. Percy has never felt so betrayed. Did they really think he would do that? Did they think he would just tell them about their family secrets?

Percy left the house for almost good that time. He cried a lot in his old unused apartment. Percy tries one last time at around Christmas time. It doesn't work out and Percy is back where he started- alone.

Bill returns from Egypt. He gets a desk job at Gringotts and Charlie is still gallivanting out with the dragons. His father seems to believe Harry. Percy sometimes watches Harry when he sees him. What does Harry have that Percy doesn't? Percy comes to one conclusion- everything. Percy tries not to think about it again.

Percy is sobbing. Not just crying, but he is sobbing his eyes out. If Percy had claimed Voldemort was back his family wouldn't have believed him. They would have thought he had finally gone off the deep end. He had come to resent Harry. His family would worship him if he gave them the chance. He would hate Harry if it weren't for the fact he couldn't bring himself to. He was everything he wanted to be. Everything he wasn't. Percy wasn't a Weasley. He could never be a Weasley.

Percy's mind is muddled. Years have bled together and he has everything he would ever need. He has money. He can pay the bills and buy himself food and indulge himself with a book or a board game. He would bring the board game home only to freeze. He had no one to play the board game with. His face became stony. He hasn't talked to his family in almost two years. Two years, five months, and a day. He has dissociated himself from a family thinking that if they didn't want them then he wouldn't stick around.

Percy has convinced himself he is no one and that his achievements aren't his. He is a bystander in his own life. His face is blanked then a clean stone wall. Everyday he walks into the ministry ready to block out the screaming and hope he doesn't get caught. He writes the laws he has to put into existence in such a way they would crumble with a blow of wind. He lies on the forms of supposed muggleborns, making them one hit family. It works for the time being, giving Percy and Oliver, who was helping him, enough time to smuggle them out of the country to a safer place. He sends the familiar Weasley sweater back with the fear of it being found. He can't save anyone if it is found. They would think he is still in contact with his family and he can't have that.

The day Percy hears the battle has begun, he is worried. As much as he would like to deny it, they are his relatives and he loves them. He misses them and worries about them. He goes to the battle and fights valiantly. He avoids his family. He doesn't want to be seen by them, but when he saves Fred from the falling debris, he can't avoid them any longer.

It's over. Harry defeated him again. Percy collapses on a piece of debris and sits on it. He curls into himself until someone sits next to him. He looks up and sees Oliver,

"Hey Percy. It's been a while huh?" Percy uncurls,

"Yeah. It has been a long time, hasn't it?" Percy looks at Oliver. They had almost gotten caught last time they smuggled someone out of the country and Oliver had gotten hurt so they were on a bit of a hiatus. Percy grabs Oliver's arm and inspects it. He curses,

"You utter twat, you've gone and pulled your stitches. Now I will have to redo them." Oliver chuckles painfully.

"It will be fine Perce." Percy scowls at the name and removes his hands from the arm. Footsteps ring down the hallway and they both look up, wands at the ready.

"Percy?" It was Charlie. Percy panicked. Oliver pulled him to his chest and calmed him. Oliver ran his hands through his matted hair and it seems to calm him down. Percy relaxed into Oliver's soothing touch. Charlie spoke again but this time he was in front of Percy,

"Percy?" Percy looks at Charlie questioningly. He doesn't know what to say to him, but he certainly doesn't expect what Charlie says next,

"I've been a really bad brother haven't I? I haven't given anything for you to trust me with. Can you forgive me for that and give me one more chance?" Percy is startled. If anything, _he_ was the bad brother. He spoke his thoughts to his older brother,

"But _I_ was the bad brother?" His pitch got higher with each word. He was confused. Charlie shook his head.

"We gave you no reason to trust us. In fact we almost replaced you and I realize that. You don't have to forgive me but I just want a chance to make it up to you." Oliver's arms tighten around Percy's waist. Percy nodded,

"Well in order to get my forgiveness. You shall bake me any sweet I want for the rest of your life." Charlie jumped a bit but laughed and smiled. It wasn't much but it was certainly a start to mending a lost bond.

_"How could he go if he's got everything?_ _I'll mourn for a kid but won't cry for a king."_

_-Twenty One Pilots_  
_"Neon Gravestones"_

**_**A/N (Added Note):**_**

**_**Obviously I change a few things. In the books Percy obviously doesn't try to actively avoid his family on the battlefield. He also save Fred's life but leaves shortly after, leaving Fred to think it was one of his other brothers. Also I accidentally put in some Percy/Oliver slash so that's cute. I did make Percy asexual and it isn't included in this piece but I head-cannon him as panromantic. **_**

**_**I got so tired of fighting people on how Percy actually acts and how insecure Percy is on his placement in his family. He must have felt so anguished for the mistakes that he made. He's the character that I sympathize the most with.**_**

**_**Just want to make another note- Percy is dealing with a bit of Imposter Syndrome (hence the name) and also a bit of depression. Percy has been teased and belittled by his brothers his entire life and had no one to vent to until Oliver.**_**

**_**Last note is the song lyric at the end. I find that it means that they will mourn for someone who didn't have a lot and often struggled but will not mourn for someone who they think had it all. It's quite sad and most never realize. Go listen to the song- it's quite depressing though because it's all true.**_**

**_**Ta Ta**_**

**_**-Crazeth**_**


End file.
